It is hard to deal with the loss of something or someone close. I have been thinking of this a lot this year. It has hit me again the other day as my niece is having to deal with the loss of her horse. How do you deal with the loss of a close companion?
Some people express sentiments but do not truly understand the loss that is being felt. I think this is especially true when it involves non-human companions (pets). Empathizing or sympathizing the sentiments are appreciated but depending upon how the person grieves; timing will make the difference in how they are received.
The grieving process is different for everyone. I have close family members that want to grieve by interacting with all the people that are close to them (they internalize condolences immediately). I myself want to be alone or with people (or pets) that do not wish to discuss the loss until I have dealt with it internally (condolences help only after I have dealt with the loss personally). What ever the grieving process, the part that is the same is the sorrow, grief, and pain.
It has struck me that the sorrow, grief, and pain, are the payment for the love that is shared; the greater the love the greater the payments. These payments are not scheduled. When we agree to love we promise to be responsible to make these payments at anytime. At any given moment we can be called upon to make a payment. When a loved companion experiences sorrow, grief, or pain; we are called upon to make a payment for the love we have shared. How strong the love and what the loved one is experiencing will determine the size of the payment required.
We go through life this way depositing memories and affection while periodically making payments. The day comes that we are called upon to make the final payment for this love. A great love requires a great final payment. When called upon to make this final payment it may seem like more them we can bare; if we draw from the deposits of the memories and affection (and interest accrued) we can make the payment. Once this final payment is made we are left with all the love, affection and memories that love produced free and clear to keep for the rest of our lives.
In the end the returns of great love (the happiness, Joy, and love) far surpass the great payments (the sorrow, grief, and pain) required. When dealing with the loss we can draw from the returns to make the payment rather then focusing on the payment itself.
Lets not be sorry for the loss. Lets be grateful that we had the chance to experience the pain of it; it means we also got to experience all the happiness, joy, and love of a great love. Forever afterwards, when we need to, we can have that happiness, joy, and love just by accessing the memories of that beloved companion.